


Sorry! Didn't Mean to Kidnap You, Blame Luna and the TARDIS

by jesmalestiel



Series: Lunar Harmony Through Time and Space [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon LGBTQ Character, F/F, F/M, Female Character of Color, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, Multi, Person of Color Hermione Granger, Polyamory, Time Travel, Timey-Wimey, Trans Character, randomiser
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2020-10-26 11:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20741714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesmalestiel/pseuds/jesmalestiel
Summary: Just when the Doctor is feeling particularly low (all his friends think he’s dead, after all) he stumbles upon some old friends he used to travel with. Except they haven’t traveled with him yet. It’s all a bit wibbly-wobbly….He knows them, but they don't know him. Harry, Hermione, and Luna are the Doctor's Companions.





	1. HOGSMEADE APRIL 1999

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I don’t own Harry Potter or Doctor Who.
> 
> **Author’s Note: ** This is part of a series. It’s more or less an OK place to start and can be read on its own, but it will make more sense if you read the other stuff at some point too. That’s time travel for you I suppose.

The Doctor often told himself that he didn’t need anyone.

Rule one: The Doctor Lies.

Rarely had he felt so alone as when all his closest companions and allies thought him dead and gone. Except River, of course, who was locked away, sparing those nights they spent together, and Dorian, but who was he going to tell? No, the Doctor was alone, and he… didn’t care for it.

He felt drawn toward Amy and Rory, but he resisted the pull. The more time he spent with the Ponds, the less time they would have. And he wanted, _ needed _ his time with them to last.

The Doctor was brooding. He hated brooding. Randomly, he stroked the console of his TARDIS, almost asking her, _ where should we go? _ Anywhere, except where the Ponds were. He would stay away from his friends, so that he could protect them.

So that he could protect himself.

LHTTAS – LHTTAS – LHTTAS

**HOGSMEADE, APRIL 1999**

It was with amusement and delight that the Doctor realized where he had landed. Hogsmeade, and by his estimation, 1999. This is where he came in. There was a great deal of pain to be felt when the Doctor looked back on his Tenth incarnation, Martha, Donna, Rose. All the people he had loved and lost. But not an ounce of regret was to be had regarding his time with Harry, Hermione, and Luna. And here they were, as teenagers! Blimey, they were young. And so, so old. They had seen far too much, in far too little time.

“Pardon me, sir, but I don’t think that’s quite a good place for your vanishing cabinet.”

The Doctor blinked. He hadn’t been paying quite enough attention, lost in thought as he was, and the people who served as objects of his fascination had actually approached _ him _, albeit two of them did so reluctantly.

“_ Luna _ , when I said that there was a creepy guy staring at us, I did _ not _ mean we should approach him!” Hermione hissed, and the Doctor had to stifle a chortle at what was such a Hermione thing to say, and such a Luna thing to do.

“I prefer to think of myself as a mad man more than a creepy guy myself. I find it rolls off the tongue better. I’m the Doctor by the way, how do you do?” The Doctor went to take off his fez as a gesture of respect and then frowned upon realizing he wasn’t wearing one. He should fix that.

“I’m Luna. Luna Lovegood. And this is Hermione Granger, and that’s Harry Potter. But you already knew that,” Luna remarked absentmindedly as she evaluated the TARDIS, walking around it slowly. “I think this cabinet knows me.”

“Did I? Have we met before?” The Doctor frowned. He was fairly certain that the trio said they hadn’t met him until he was wearing a bow tie in Hogsmeade in 1999, which seemed to fit the bill of _ this _ occasion.

“Well, everyone knows who Harry is, though Luna and I aren’t as recognizable,” Hermione replied, as though it was obvious.

“How could I know who Harry is, if he hasn’t introduced himself? A name isn’t a person,” the Doctor snorted. “By that logic I also know the entire Huddersfield front row and half the population of Tadfield are my intimate friends. No, I don’t know you yet, but it’s nice to meet you. Fancy a cuppa?”

“Fancy a cuppa _ where _ exactly?” Hermione asked just as Harry said.

“Alright mate. I like you, Doctor. Where’d you like to go?”

“_ Harry, _ we’re on a tight schedule. We can’t go having drinks with strange men.” Hermione had the tone of someone who had said the same many times before.

“_ Hermione, _ this is our first time out the castle in ages, and this Doctor bloke is funny. Plus, Luna has already vanished into his cabinet, and we should probably see where our girlfriend has wandered off to,” Harry reasoned. As he was the only one who had previously been facing the TARDIS, both the Doctor and Hermione turned quickly to see that, yes, the doors were now open, and Luna was nowhere in sight.

The Doctor smacked himself because _ of course _ the TARDIS let Luna in, she had unrestricted access due to the extended amount of time she had travelled with his past incarnation, and the TARDIS was set to unlock at her DNA imprint if lacking a key. She must have nicked herself and accidentally (a darker part of his mind wondered if it had been on purpose) gotten blood on the door, which caused the TARDIS to unlock without a key.

Hermione let out a shriek of frustration that was somewhere between panic and resignation before charging into the cabinet, wand out. Meanwhile Harry let out a bemused laugh, lazy flicking out his wand and following slowly. The Doctor followed him closely.

“I would have expected you to be more, wary, Mr. Potter.”

“I am. I don’t trust you, Doctor. Especially since you just closed that door. But a relaxed posture is a better dueling stance, and Luna is a good judge of character. I’ve also been scanning the wards on this place, which I notice is bigger on the inside, using the techniques that Professor Flitwick has been teaching me in our extra lessons.”

“And?”

“Nothing.” Hermione answered before Harry could, arms crossed as she stood next to where Luna was examining the console. “This place registers no magic as my spells recognize it. So, what are you, Doctor?”

“Why, he’s an alien, of course,” Luna mused, still looking at the console. “I wonder what will happen if I –”

The Doctor caught on too late what she was about to do.

“Not the randomiser!” He attempted to shift the control away via his sonic screwdriver, but Hermione, fearing that he was attacking Luna, used a shield spell, and the randomiser was engaged anyway.

And they were off.

But to where?

And when?


	2. SCOTLAND 1015 (PART I)

**INSIDE THE TARDIS**

“What is happening?” Hermione shouted as the TARDIS shook. She and Harry had both grabbed on to the guard rails surrounding the TARDIS console, while Luna sat upside down on the seat, her long blonde hair dangling on the grate and her knees hooked over the shoulder rest for balance. Meanwhile, the Doctor dashed over to the console and swung around the display to try and discover where the randomiser was sending them. 

It wasn’t that the randomiser was bad necessarily — it had helped him evade the Black Guardian, and it had led them to the Ood Sphere, which was as necessary an adventure as any. But he hadn’t wanted his first adventure with the trio to be a random one, and judging from the way that his sonic had interacted with Hermione’s shield, the randomiser appeared to now be protected from outside influence, which meant that, worst of all, they would have a bugger of a time turning it off.

Examining the scanner and ignoring the protests of the mages in the room, the Doctor calculated that they appeared to be moving in only one dimension. That is to say, while they were hurtling backwards in time by over a thousand years, they were not, in fact, moving spatially at all. 

The shaking stopped.

Hermione and Harry shakily stood, and Luna jumped up cheerfully.

“What is actually going on here?” Harry asked.

“Well, funny story actually. You three happen to have walked in to the most sophisticated space-time machine in the universe, and your friend here happens to have pressed the one button that ensures that every trip she takes is completely random, and I can’t at all control where she goes. Isn’t that marvellous?”

“No. In fact, that sounds rather preposterous!” Hermione huffed.

“Hmm, yes, well you said the same thing about nargles dear, and look where that got you.” Luna patted Hermione on the shoulder in a gesture that was sympathetic, and, had it been anyone else, a little patronizing. “Tell me Doctor, where are we?”

“According to my scanner, the exact same place we started.”

Harry, who had wandered over to the entrance and opened the TARDIS doors to see nothing but forest, turned back to join the conversation.

“I think, my dear, that a better question then, might be _ when _ are we. Because this certainly doesn’t look like the Hogsmeade I know.”

LHTTAS — LHTTAS — LHTTAS

**SCOTLAND 1015**

Hermione Granger was cranky. She’d had enough of traipsing through the woods while the four of them had been on the horcrux hunt, and she wasn’t at all pleased to be doing so again, though at least she still had her beaded bag (lingering paranoia paid off), in the _ eleventh century _ with a self-proclaimed alien madman. She tried to look at the positives. With her bag, the three of them at least had spare clothes, so they had been able to change from school robes to jeans and jumpers that were more sturdy for hiking through the forest. This was a _ marvelous _chance to explore a historical narrative in a way hitherto unknown. ‘Imagine the lost knowledge you can regain, Hermione!’ her mind was reminding her. 

But she’d had a headache all day, and hadn’t even _ wanted _ to go to Hogsmeade, but Harry was itching to get out of the castle and away from the memories of the final battle, and honestly she couldn’t blame him. The castle was huge, but confining, especially to the 7th and 8th years, who had been through so much there. And the rebuilding efforts were still ongoing. There were still scars and scorch marks that magic had yet to fix, and the memories of where people had fallen, dead at the hands of those who had invaded the castle they had called home. People lost to them forever. Fred. Tonks. Colin. And so many more, lost too soon.

Hermione shook herself from the memories. The Hogwarts they approached now was new, unscarred, and beautiful. As they finally came out of the forest and onto the grounds, they were approached by four people that could only have been the founders. And, OK, this is when Hermione had her star-struck moment. She was allowed it, OK? These were the Hogwarts founders, the people who had created the very institution she had loved for so long, whose stories she had read countless times, who — 

“So who are you lot, then?” asked the burly man with a bright red beard, who could only have been Godric Gryffindor. 

“I’m Doctor John Smith, but you can simply call me Doctor. These are my apprentices, Harry, Hermione, and Luna. I’ve taken them under my wing, and taught them what I can, but I’ve brought them to Hogwarts as I hear it is an institution of premiere learning that can teach them much more than I ever could. They previously learned under my brother, you see, who was a much more skilled wizard than I, but he lost his life recently to an accident involving two horses and some pickled carrots. Nasty business.”

Hermione could not believe the nerve of this man. Or the bizarre nature of his narrative. Two horses and some pickled carrots.

“We _ are _ sorry for your losses, dears. Won’t you come inside? You look as though you’ve had a long journey through the forest. How long have you been travelling? I’m Helga, by the way. Come along.” Helga gestured for them to follow her up the path to the castle. “Don’t mind Godric being blunt, he can’t help himself, doesn’t always trust strangers, but I’m an empath, so I know a good lot when I see them. You’re certainly a formidable and well-trained group, but you won’t harm us, I don’t think. Besides. Those two silent ones, Rowena and Salazar, could have killed you ten ways to Sunday already if you really were a threat to our students.” How Helga managed to stay so cheerful while casually threatening them Hermione didn’t know, but she was both properly wary and reluctantly impressed. Harry also had his signature suppressing-a-smile face on, and Luna looked as serene as ever. Hermione wasn’t very good at reading the Doctor’s expression yet, so all she really gleaned from him was an open sort of curiosity.

“So, Helga, tell me, how long have you been running Hogwarts?” The Doctor asked as they approached the entryway.

“Well, the four of us founded the school about twenty-five years ago, on land that belonged to Rowena’s family for generations before she gifted it to the school.”

“You speak as though it was a hardship, Helga,” Rowena demurred. “It was an honor and a privilege, to provide for the future education of generations.”

“Hmmm, yes. Education, the great equalizer. And you four work together? Equally? Are there other professors here?”

“But of course! There are far too many students for us to take them all on only ourselves, as the school has grown over the years,” Godric chortled as he threw open the doors to the castle. The newcomers made sure to look suitably impressed, as though they hadn’t walked over the very same threshold hundreds upon hundreds of times. Though it wasn’t precisely the same. Different tapestries featured on the walls. The stones were already ancient, but had a vibrant quality that was ever so slightly changed in the time they came from. The castle was alive in both eras, but with a quality of spirit that differed. Not in a way that was any better or worse, simply different. 

“Aside from that, we all have our specialties. What is yours, Doctor?” Helga asked

“Technology. I build and make things. I create objects out of component parts to serve a purpose, often using a combination of runes and varying forms of energy.”

“Ah, wonderful! We were looking for a Runes Master. Our previous associate recently left us unexpectedly. An estranged relative he had never heard of left behind a huge sum of money in his name. It was quite odd, but we wished him well,” Godric cut in cheerfully.

“Indeed. Would you be able to take over the curriculum, Doctor? At least for the while that your apprentices are studying here,” Rowena asked, not unkindly.

Hermione was baffled. Why on earth were these founders accepting them so easily. They had just walked in here, with no credentials, and were being offered a place at the school? No questions asked? This was madness! And no one had asked her for _ her _opinion. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again when she felt Luna’s hand close around her wrist. Something about the look in the other girl’s eye made her swallow back her words. She exchanged a glance with Harry and he subtly shook his head. They would wait until they were truly alone to talk.

Wait a minute. Talking. If this was the eleventh century, how in Merlin’s name could they understand anything the founder’s were saying? Shouldn’t the language be completely different?

It seemed as though Hermione’s headache wasn’t going to be going away any time soon.

LHTTAS — LHTTAS — LHTTAS

Harry was taking a wait and see approach. He had spent the early years of his life constantly dodging his cousin, quick impulses gained from the loathed ‘Harry Hunting’. From this had learned the lesson to always be prepared at a moment’s notice to flee, and evaluate all exits, all possibilities for ways things could go wrong. This was a skill only improved by his attendance at Hogwarts, where everyone always wanted _ something _ from him. A little slice of his fame. Some notoriety, either by being his friend or by taking him down a peg. Whether he was loved or hated, Harry was always in the spotlight, and so he had refined the technique of staying quiet and observing every situation, seemingly relaxed, not a threat. 

For so long he had held on to anger. The truth was that he was still angry. Angry that there had been so much pain and death. And yes, part of him still blamed himself for that. His solution was to honor those sacrifices by not wasting his life, and instead living it to the fullest and brightest extent possible. That also meant keeping himself and what he loved safe, and that meant protecting those he cared about. Right then, that meant protecting Hermione and Luna. 

Granted, they could most definitely protect themselves. But Hermione was at her ropes end, he could tell, barely keeping the strands of herself together. And Harry could never quite get into Luna’s head, but there was something about how the girl had been interacting with that machine, the TARDIS, that made him feel as though it affected her differently than it did them. It was true, when he said before that the reaction of the ship to his magic was unlike any ward magic he had felt before, but it _ wasn’t _completely true that it didn’t feel like magic, because it did. It felt like Luna’s magic. He and Hermione had discussed it, late one night during the Horcrux hunt, when he couldn’t sleep and so his third watch overlapped with her second while Luna and Ron slept inside the tent.

_ “Have you ever noticed how different Luna is?” Harry asked as they stared out at the night. Hermione gave a small laugh. _

_ “Harry, there’s no one like Luna. We both know that. Anyone who’s known her for five minutes, or even five seconds would know.” _

_ “No, I mean, her magic. Have you felt it?” Harry insisted. _

_ “Have I felt Luna’s magic?” Hermione asked, bemused. “What do you mean, felt Luna’s magic?” _

_ “It’s like… I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know if other wizards and witches have the same sensations I do regarding magic. It’s not something I’ve ever talked about before, or read about in a book. But when I’m around someone or something magical, I can feel it. I can sense the magic. And Luna’s magic is unlike anyone else’s. I mean, everyone’s magic is different, right? Because people are different. But human magic is fundamentally the same, it’s different, though, from house elf magic, or centaur magic, or the magic of a spell. Luna’s though… it doesn’t always feel completely human.” Harry concluded lamely. “It’s not bad,” he continued hurriedly, once he saw the somewhat incredulous, and not a little bit concerned look on Hermione’s face. “Luna’s magic, it feels, pretty amazing actually, it’s so, I guess the best word is alive, it’s like the fire at the center of the sun, burning bright and hot, but also like the howling wind and crashing waves all at once. It’s a fierce, when she lets it out. Most of the time its normal, the same as you or me, an energetic glow, but sometimes, sometimes that ferocity comes through and it overwhelms.” _

_ “Well, firstly, Harry, that’s amazing that you seem to have a natural form of what I believe is called magi-sight. It’s an advanced technique used by Cursebreakers, Rune Masters, Arithmancers, and Ward Crafters to see and sense magic, and it takes most people time and skill to develop it. Since you haven’t taken arithmancy or ancient runes, I’m not surprised that you haven’t come across any mention of it before. I’ve experimented with expanding my own magi-sight, but I need to consciously use it to get readings from others, so no, I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary about Luna’s magic, because I haven’t had cause to read her.” _

_ Harry nodded, processing Hermione’s words. Luna was odd, and her magic was another thing to add to the list of things he wasn’t sure he would ever understand about her. Nonetheless, he was glad that she had joined them on the journey to find the horcruxes. For a number of reasons really. Not only was she good company when Ron and Hermione were having yet another fight, but she also was the only one who had experience gutting and cooking fish before, and the only one who knew how to fine tune the summoning charm to only catch a few fish at a time instead of summoning half the fish in the river and having to cancel the charm at the last second. Luna was clever, and funny, and really quite pretty. She was unfailingly honest, and innovative in ways that made their arduous task that much more bearable. _

_ “Could you perhaps help me hone it a bit more? Teach me some of what you know of runes and arithmancy? If nothing else it will help pass the time.” _

_ “Of course Harry. When would you like to start?” _

Harry was shaken out of his musings when he found himself being asked a question by Godric Gryffindor. (Godric Gryffindor!)

“Sorry, come again?”

“I was _ asking _ whether you’ve ever fought with a sword. You don’t appear to have one on you, or the build for it. But every young man should have a sword.”

“Ah, well, I’ve used a sword a few times, when I needed to, but I’ve always been better with wand work myself. Not that there’s anything wrong with swords of course, I’ve just found wands to be more versatile.” 

“Nonsense! As I say, every man needs a sword, no matter what Salazar might think, eh? You want my advice, son, don’t listen to the snake. A sword is a man’s best weapon. We’ll get you kitted up and ready to fight in no time.” 

Godric slapped Harry on the back in what was probably meant to be a good natured way, but in reality left Harry feeling off-put. He was proud to say, though, that he hadn’t actually stumbled. All the strength training and exercise he had been putting in ever since he started making an effort to be more fit while on the run (if he could be just that much faster than the death eaters and the snatchers, all the better for him) had paid off, and he found that after he was in the habit he liked exercise. If he was tired enough at the end of the day, it almost helped keep the nightmares at bay.

It was after Godric’s peculiar warning to not listen to Slytherin, though, that Harry realized the fourth founder had said nothing to them yet since their arrival, only standing silently and observing them while the Doctor chattered away with Helga and Rowena about lesson plans, Luna absentmindedly braiding her hair, and Hermione growing ever more tense. 

Salazar Slytherin wasn’t what Harry expected. From the statue in the Chamber of Secrets, Harry had presumed to see a ugly wizard with a balding head and a long beard. But Salazar had elegant features, no facial hair, and long black hair, tied back with a simple ribbon. Taking a gamble, and wondering if perhaps history had been as unfair to Salazar as the public often was to Harry, the young man offered an olive branch.

“I don’t mean to misspeak, but that was a bit rude of him. I should think I should listen to any professor, especially a founder of this school.”

“Indeed,” Salazar gave a nod of the head, and Harry did his best not to give a start at what was a surprisingly feminine voice. “Godric has never been the most tactful of comrades, and we disagree on all manner of subjects. He… disapproves of a number of choices I have made as of late, and has decided that passive-aggressive dismissal is the best way to vent his frustration with them. Nevermind that, however. Shall we get you three sorted?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fyi there will instances of shitty people being shitty in future chapters including racism, homophobia, and transphobia. As a queer genderfluid POC myself I can't really escape these things so I don't think it's realistic to have my characters escape them either. It sucks, but that's how it is. That said, it's not all doom and gloom, and that definitely won't be the focus of this fic, it's just that these are inescapable background factors that have to happen every once in a while or else my brain wouldn't be able to cope and y'all wouldn't have a fic to read.


	3. SCOTLAND 1015 (PART II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer:** David Tennant and Peter Capaldi used to write fanfiction, so maybe one day I can play the Doctor, but as it stands, I don’t have any rights to Doctor Who. And the less we say about the people who actually own the rights to Harry Potter the better.
> 
> **A/N:** I haven’t forgotten about this fic, I promise, it’s just that my other series A Trio of Tricksters is my priority at the moment, because there is a lot more interest in that story and I write what the people want for the most part. But! I have a decent backlog for that series now, so maybe I might write more for this one? Who knows? I’m sorry to tease, friends. These updates will be sporadic, but they’re coming, I promise. NOTE that there is now a prequel to both this fic and the others in the series called _Plimpys and Printing Presses_ included in the series chronology. It's about Luna and her dad. Please check it out! Thanks to my beta, cyborg-goddess, for putting up with my mad schemes.

Hogwarts in the eleventh century wasn’t what Luna was expecting. Not that she had been expecting anything per se, because when she woke up that morning it wasn’t as though she thought to herself  _ I’m going to Hogwarts in the eleventh century today, I wonder what shoes I should wear. _ That would have been silly. What she actually thought to herself was that she was planning on going to Hogsmeade and there was going to be rain, so she should make sure that Hermione had Luna’s wellies packed in her beaded bag. Luna had been meaning to make one of her own for ages, but she kept getting distracted by the extradimensional figures that called her attention to other matters. Besides, given their close quarters and the minimal amount of time they spent apart, it was quite simple to just have Hermione be in charge of carrying the majority of their possessions for the time being.

As things turned out, Luna didn’t end up needing her wellies. Luna didn’t need most of the clothes that Hermione had set aside for her in the beaded bag because they would actually look quite out of place where, or rather,  _ when _ they had ended up. Hogwarts in the eleventh century was a strange place, where the familiar had become quite,  _ unfamiliar _ and as a consequence, the trio knew that as soon as Slytherin made the suggestion of sorting, that getting sorted into separate houses was not an option. They couldn’t risk being separated when they were already out of the depth to such a degree. From a personal perspective, how well they would do with being separated from one another was also a serious question. The three of them had formed a level of codependency that was perhaps slightly unhealthy, but completely logical given what they had gone through. The war had been an incredibly traumatic experience, and the trio was in the unique position of having gone through some of the worst parts of it together. 

In fairness to the eleventh century Hogwarts, their current Hogwarts was different from what it had been for them in years previous. One example was that all the 8th years had individual rooms, mostly as a privilege afforded because there were doubles of that year, so they were put in separate housing that was more individualized because it was meant for visitors, but as a trio the three of them just shared a room and even though it made McGonagall blush, she didn’t try to stop them. They were adults and Harry had defeated  _ Voldemort. _ No one would stop him even if he wanted to piss on Dumbledore’s grave, which he didn’t particularly feel like doing, despite everything that had happened. 

(Hermione, though, much to everyone who knew’s shock, had actually poured a vial of urine on the old man’s grave upon realizing that he had set Harry up to sacrifice himself. She said that she would have pissed on it directly but didn’t have the right equipment to do so comfortably and that while there were transfiguration work arounds those were for people seeking more permanent transitions and not revenge over meddling bastards.)

All the same, even though there were many changes to the Hogwarts they knew after the war, the differences had nothing on the differences to Hogwarts in the eleventh century. Hogwarts in the eleventh century was an odd place, because while it had some of the same features, the great hall, houses, etc, the way things were structured was completely different. For one thing, once they were sorted (all into Slytherin — it didn’t fit them all exactly, but it’s where the Doctor decided to set up camp so it’s where the trio set themselves up in turn) they lived in a dorm with other Slytherins, but it wasn’t one where they got separated by gender or by year. Rather, because they were apprentices of the Doctor, they lived in a suite with him. The students native to the timeline all had individual rooms as well, also in suites, but theirs were separated by gender and rough age boundaries, though it wasn’t exactly by year as they knew it, because of the smaller class sizes and because the ages at which one attended Hogwarts had yet to be fully standardized.

Theirs wasn’t a normal arrangement, but something that the Doctor had worked out with the founders when he had a meeting with them. The thing of it was, though, that he didn’t really seem to do anything having to do with regular magic. The classes that he taught — runes — were unlike anything that any of the contemporary students or professors had ever seen before, and Hermione privately suspected that he was teaching them things that were against what was properly supposed to be known in this time period, but when she tried to question him about time paradoxes he simply waved her off and said that it was too early in her education about temporal mechanics to be worrying about little issues like that. 

This infuriated her of course, but Harry was able to talk her down, and Luna was able to talk her down again once Harry’s efforts had worn off. In the end, it was really a matter of the Doctor constantly avoiding Hermione and her questions because he couldn’t stand to have her question him, and he constantly just evaded actually giving her a straight answer until she literally glued him to a chair with a sticking charm and talked his ear off for half an hour, ranting, before finally getting him to give her some answers. 

Eventually he was rescued by a concerned Helga coming to look for them after not being able to find them when they didn’t show up for dinner. There was a bit of confusion, actually, because she thought it was some kind of weird sex thing and had a lot of reprimands about how a student shouldn’t be involved with their teacher in that way, and trying to explain the whole awkward situation eventually led her to believe that, actually, not only was there nothing sexual going on, but actually the Doctor was Hermione’s uncle, and responsible for her general wellbeing, and the whole interrogation scene had been because Hermione wanted to know more about her dead parents because she thought that he might have a role in their deaths, which was a quite frankly preposterous assumption, but she wasn’t really sure what else to say. 

Needless to say, Harry thought that the entire thing was ridiculously hilarious, and could not hold in the slightest bit of laughter when he found out, giggling like a lunatic, and he had to be administered an anti-cheering charm just to gather his composure enough to be capable of proper speech. Luna, meanwhile, was as calm as ever on the surface, but had a twinkle in her eye as she accepted a galleon from Harry once he had calmed down enough to pay her dues from her correctly betting that it would be Helga who disrupted Hermione’s routine. 

S!DMtKYBLatT S!DMtKYBLatT S!DMtKYBLatT  


It had been a week since Hermione’s failed attempt to get answers from the Doctor, and three weeks total spent in the year 1015, when Harry finally managed to win his way into the full confidence of his head of house. He had been working steadily to befriend Salazar since he had realized their trip to the past would be an extensive one, because he wanted to know the person behind the myths and legends, wanted to know what could prompt someone to leave a monster in a school full of children. 

As it happened, Harry simply  _ couldn’t _ imagine Salazar as leaving a monster in a school full of children. At least not one that was meant to harm said children. Salazar could be harsh, and was a strict instructor, one who brooked no nonsense in the classroom. But the founder was also kind, to all students, and never discriminated against anyone with an honest desire to learn. And Harry learned a great deal from the one whose house he once rejected. The two of them became close, bonding over how they had each of them lost their parents and come in to responsibility young — Salazar was decades younger than the other founders, joining with them because of sheer magical power and unique skill rather than experience. Both of them also felt quite out of place at Hogwarts -- Harry because of his time travel, and Salazar for another reason.

“I haven’t told anyone but Helga or Rowena yet,” Salazar began hesitantly as the two of them settled down in their usual study spot in the currently deserted Slytherin common room. It was early in the morning on one of the free days, and so all of the other house members were most likely resting. “But there is something you should know.”

“What is it?” Harry asked.

Salazar paused, hesitant, before pushing forward. “I’m planning on making a transition from being a wizard to a witch.”

“Oh,” Harry said, surprised. He hadn’t realized that there were transsexuals[1] in the eleventh century.

“I’ll be leaving Hogwarts — I can’t stay here as Salazar Slytherin, and I don’t think I could convincingly be anyone else around the people and magic that know me so well. I’m not sure where I’ll go yet, but I know that staying here won’t be an option much longer.”

“Well, perhaps you could come with us?” Harry Potter had never been short on wild ideas. He had robbed a bank and escaped on a dragon. He had defeated a dark lord. Proposing that the founder of his alma mater join him and his girlfriends to travel in a time machine that was apparently also a spaceship didn’t seem all that preposterous. 

Before Salazar could say anything in response, however, there was a crash as Rowena Ravenclaw stumbled into their common room.

“Salazar! It’s hatching!”

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“Oh no. Tell me you didn’t. No no no no no, you  _ didn’t," _ Hermione moaned, her head cradled in her hands.

“I just wanted to see what would happen!” the Doctor protested. Rowena looked on, somewhat guilty as Helga frowned at them, appearing increasingly disappointed.

“ _ History _ is what is happening,  _ history _ is what is happening,” Luna hummed.

Meanwhile, Salazar was cradling a baby basilisk, freshly hatched. “Ah, little one. I shall create a space for you where you can’t hurt anyone. And you will protect the school for us, won’t you my sweet?” she cooed at the small snake, who hissed an assenting reply. Not that anyone but Harry understood them of course.

Rowena and Helga conferred together, while the Doctor, Harry, Hermione, and Luna began to speak to one another.

“Now, I’ve been down to the TARDIS, I’m still working on trying to fix the randomizer, just so that we can get you back to your proper time. I think that we’re going to have to drain it of its juice, which means staying here for just a teensy bit longer.”

“How much longer?” Hermione frowned. “It’s already been three weeks.”

“Well, just a bit more than that,” the Doctor twisted his hands together. “Perhaps more like, three to six months?”

“Doctor!” Hermione shouted in outrage. “How dare you! Kidnap us! Trap us in the eleventh century! What kind of alien are you!?”

“Oi! I didn’t mean to kidnap you, eh? Blame Luna and the TARDIS. And I’m a Time Lord, thank you.”

“Time lord. What kind of species calls themselves lords?” Hermione scoffed.

“What kind of species calls themselves  _ sapiens?" _ the Doctor shot back.

Hermione sniffed, but didn’t actually have a proper response to this, so moved on. “And what about after these three to six months? Will we be able to go home?”

“Probably. I mean yes, of course, we  _ will _ get you home. Obviously. Eventually. But there’s a whole world out there, worlds. There’s so much more than this one planet. Don’t you want to see it? I know you Hermione, you’ve been soaking up everything you can about this time period, about the lives lived here. Don’t you want to see  _ more? _ Because there is  _ so _ much more to learn and see and do about life beyond this place.”

“And if there is so much more to ‘learn and see and do’ why are we going to be stuck in the eleventh century for three to six months?” Hermione retorted, though she was intrigued by the Doctor’s offer. She couldn’t deny that she was interested. She had always wanted to explore the world, and more than that she wondered what was beyond the stars. In their astronomy classes they had learned that there were energies that came to them from the stars themselves, and she had always wondered what made those star systems tick. 

“There’s something I need to do here. Well, some things. It’s complicated. There are events in motion, things I haven’t told you. There’s a reason we came here, and it’s not just to witness Hogwarts at its beginning, though that is an exciting bit, isn’t it? Though I am curious about that basilisk, I’ll need to talk to Salazar about studying it a bit further, I’d like to know more about such a beautiful creature….” the Doctor trailed off, clearly deep in thought, and Hermione shook her head, realizing that she probably wasn’t going to get much more out of the time lord once he had started muttering about cross-speciation and how sentience born from magic differed from artificial intelligence.

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Over the next two months the Doctor spent a great deal of time with Salazar and the basilisk, who had been named Jessamine. He still occasionally taught his runes classes, but what he taught was so esoteric and advanced that only a handful of Ravenclaws and Slytherins, and a lone Hufflepuff, even wanted to attend the lectures that were held at entirely random intervals, from holding some at dawn to holding others at midnight. He claimed that this was because certain languages were better invoked at certain times of day, but Harry and Hermione suspected he just had trouble keeping track of what time it was, and was too distracted with whatever his secret mission was to consistently remember he was supposed to be a teacher. Luna, if she had an opinion, didn’t share it with them. She was, however, the reason that they were able to attend all of his classes, because she had an uncanny knowledge of where the Doctor was at virtually any time. If one wanted to find the Doctor, they really need only find Luna, and she could find him in heart beats. 

It was coming up upon midwinter, the shortest and coldest day of the year, and they had been in the past for almost three months when the trio finally discovered what had been consuming the Doctor so completely. They had been visiting with Salazar and the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets, explaining to her what their time was like, and trying again to convince her that she should ask the Doctor to come with them when they left the school to travel through time and space. They had just convinced her that she should approach the Doctor about it when the Doctor himself came into the chamber, scrambling through the mouth of the statue of Salazar’s father, the image of whom she decided would make an excellent guard for Jessamine, as he had always nurtured his daughter’s love of snakes before his untimely death at the hands of muggles intent on a witch burning. 

“I found them! I finally found them!”

“Found who, Doctor?” Harry asked, puzzled.

“I  _ knew _ there was a reason we were here. She told me, she said that she always takes me where I need to go, and so I had to find out, why did we need to be here? And I thought there was something fishy, and there  _ was. _ It’s the diadem!”

“What? You mean Rowena’s diadem?” Salazar asked, bewildered.

“Yes! I knew there was something here, but there was a perception filter, and a strong one if it blocked me too. But they’re here, and they want Rowena, and they’re using the diadem, and we don’t have very much time. And I’m  _ wasting _ it by even  _ bothering to tell you all _ so come on! I’ll explain on the way!” The Doctor scrambled outside of the room again, and giving each other bewildered looks, the four of them bid Jessamine farewell and followed the Doctor.

“Doctor,  _ what _ is going on?” Harry demanded, panting, as he caught up with the Doctor, running up the stairs of one of the passageways that led to the main area of the school. Hermione had called them pipes in their second year, but that was her muggleborn upbringing talking; these had never been used for sewage — magical people had magical ways of removing waste.

“There are these aliens, well, they’re not aliens, they’re humans, well, it depends on what you call human, anyway, they have this way of… converting humans to be like them. And Rowena is the brightest witch of the century. The advantage she could give them, if she was converted… they’ve been using the diadem to shape her mind, so that she will come to them willingly. We have to get it away from her. I just hope we aren’t too late. I needed all of you, well, because I’m not really a proper wizard, am I? Rowena is powerful, and only young time lords can learn human magic. My magical pathways are too stagnated. I’m too old. It’s going to take all of us, she is very possessive. I don’t know how this is going to work. I’ll come up with a plan. I always do.”

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The Doctor did come up with a half-decent plan, which completely fell apart when Rowena announced to them that her daughter, Helena, had stolen the diadem from her earlier that day. This was a prime opportunity for the trio, who had been keeping their knowledge secret for the sake of history, to share information with the Doctor that was directly relevant to the current conversation, and so, finding a secluded classroom, they laid out for him (and Salazar, who they decided there was no harm in telling since she already knew about their time traveling ways) all that they knew about the story of the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron.

“Ah, well, that does complicate things a bit. You say the diadem gets left in a tree in Albania? No one finds it until this Tom Riddle, in your present day?” the Doctor asked Harry.

“That’s what Helena’s ghost told me. I see no reason why she would lie,” Harry shrugged.

“I suppose then, all we have to do is take care of the cybermen themselves. With the diadem out of the way Rowena should return to her natural state, and once the cybermen are defeated, we can be on our way.”

“Could I come with you?” Salazar asked.

The Doctor paused, looking at the four of them. “You’ve thought about this, talked about it.” At their nods, the Doctor sighed. “Salazar, do you have children?”

Taken aback, Salazar started before saying: “I beg your pardon. Why is that relevant?”

“Your descendants are powerful, and your legacy looms throughout history. The Slytherin line is well known. If you don’t have children, history will be forever changed. It’s a fixed point,” the Doctor explained.

Salazar’s face turned scarlet, and the first impression was of embarrassment, but the Doctor belatedly realized it was anger. “You listen here  _ Doctor. _ I don’t give a damn about your  _ history. _ That is  _ my _ future and  _ I _ decide what I want for myself and what I want my family to look like. You don’t get to tell me what I have to do about my life, especially when you don’t know a damn thing about my life!”

“Salazar, it’s not that simple. You’re an established figure and people the world over know your name. You don’t get to decide who lives, who dies, and who tells your story! Wait, no, that’s a Hamilton quote.” The Doctor frowned. “But the point stands!” He continued “You have a place here.”

“No I don’t! I don’t have a place anywhere! My family wants nothing to do with me! My wife rejected me when she found out that I — that I am not really a wizard. She said there was no space for two mothers in the lives of our sons and she kicked me out! Why do you think I ran away to start a school? But she’ll never send our kids here, not while she knows I am a professor. I have to leave if I want my son and daughter to get a proper education. Don’t you see, Doctor? I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. There is no place for witches who used to be wizards in this time.”

Seeing the angry yet hopeful expression on Salazar’s face, the Doctor nodded, “OK, you can come with us. But no wandering off! And we still have to deal with these cybermen first. Come along to the TARDIS. We have to find their ship, and the unplottability matrix of the castle scrambles the locator fields.”

“What’s a TARDIS?” Salazar asked with a confused look on her face.

“How did you think I travelled?” The Doctor asked. “On a motorbike?”

“What’s a motorbike?” Salazar asked.

“We don’t have time for this,” Hermione snapped. “Not if there are apparently not-human not-aliens trying to do some kind of weird conversion process that the Doctor refuses to explain.”

“Hermione,” Harry said reprovingly, “Give her a break, it’s not Salazar’s fault she doesn’t —”

“I’m not talking about Salazar I’m talking about the overgrown manchild currently waxing poetic when we don’t have  _ time." _

“You should always waste time when you don’t have any,” the Doctor scoffed. “But Hermione’s right. Allons-y! Oh, look at me, falling into old habits all over the place.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Harry is a boy from the 90s, and thus this is the terminology I predict he would use and the thought processes I presume he would have. That said, I recognize as the author that this is not the same language that we use in 2019. I highly recommend _Transgender History_ by Susan Stryker by the way, as I find it an important historical text and also it was a good lens for me in terms of thinking about how people have viewed the trans experience throughout the past.
> 
> ALSO don't forget to check out my ficlet prequel _Plimpys and Printing Presses_ it includes a plot twist that I think you'll find very interesting....


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